Drowning Out the Noise!

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

I’ve had many days like this. Wake up expecting something and something completely different goes down... and not in a good way at all! Just a uncontrollable series of events that take place one after the other leaving you feeling like you can’t breathe or the ground beneath your feet is disappearing. Could be a disappointing conversation or someone not showing up to see you etc. followed by no one available at that time to call and vent to, no cable or wi-fi, raining outside so you can’t take a walk in fresh air etc. etc. and it all comes crashing down. It feels like the universe is conspiring against us.

And I am really quite sure I’m not the only one who has gone through this. But I have one big fat word for it all – NOISE. My definition of this word is essentially for anything uncontrollable that finds its way into your system no matter how much you plan to stay balanced, happy, committed whatever goal it is you’re going for at this moment.

Why this word makes the most sense to describe these uncontrollable events that make you feel awful – because a) Noise is awful to hear b) Most of the time, noise takes us away and distracts us from the important things that can make us happy c) Whatever we do, noise will always be a part of life’s signals.

Now then, what is life’s equivalent of noise reduction or regulation or cancellation I wonder? And I’ve been wondering as I have fallen, caved, battled, lost and any other defeatist feeling we can think of. I’ve felt it all.

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But (after this rant, aren’t you glad there is a but? J) there are ways to drown all this out. These are not easy but they’ve worked and I’ll do my best here to describe everything that I’ve deliberately done to drown out the noise and stay happy or balanced or just standing.. there are some times in life when even standing you will take right?

Photo by Aaron Thomas on Unsplash

Just Do:

Like Nike’s slogan, just do something when everything is going kaput. And ideally something that requires you to speak or move actively. Why I stress the physical or active part is because if we’re quiet then the mind takes over and the mind is a breeding ground for noise especially at times like I’ve just described. Take my word for it. Cook an omelette, go for a 30 minute walk, singalong to at least 5 songs, just shower if you will – essentially I have a rule to keep going at it for at least 15 minutes until I’ve forgotten the noise. Frankly even as I start to hear the onion being sliced against the chopping board,  concentrating on the lyrics to ‘Believer’, noticing the pretty roses that are in bloom as I’m walking or just the sound of water flowing in the bathroom and how it feels on my face, I have already forgotten most of the noise – even if it’s just for 5 mins I’ll take it!

Remember:

One thing that works for me like a charm is to remember the times that someone unquestionably had my back. Whether it is my mum who when I was in school took a rickshaw and travelled 30 minutes in the rain once and quite a while back - to bring me my forgotten lunch coz she knew I’d be too busy studying to take time to go out and buy something. Or the 3 amazing ladies that I owe my returned confidence to – all my bosses. Boss no.1 who despite knowing that I was a flight risk owing to my personal problems, took a chance on me and gave me a very rewarding internship. Boss no 2. who took a chance on me when I was reeling in sorrow over a deep personal loss. I had no idea if I could survive at a job 2 hours let alone 4 months. And yet somehow she took the risk and made that call to refer me. Boss no 3 who answered that call, took a chance and gave me the confidence that I could come back. And come back I did.

These are unconditional moves made by people in my life without expectation of return just sheer confidence in my abilities, respect and love for me.

So when noise bothers me or bogs me down, I realize that when I have these Samaritans, I really don’t need to concentrate on the noise but find a way around it coz people will help! You have yours too, I know that. Dig them out now from that head of yours and always remember them and what they did for you.

Photo by Mark Duffel on Unsplash

Stay:

This one is a little tricky to explain. It could mean ‘Stay’ or ‘Wait’ - either actually. This is the toughest thing to do and yet the most effective without a doubt. Stay where you are even if the noise is as loud as fireworks. Don’t change in that moment or in a knee-jerk reaction, anything about where you are, who you’re with, where you work, what’s planned for the rest of the day, nothing. Do everything as it is planned to be done at least for some period of time.

A few examples of what I’m trying to say; if you’re missing someone you love who doesn’t love you back, that emotion is noise to me. So I’m going do my best to stay in the moment which could be watching a film by myself or talking to my parents or getting ice-cream with my nieces. Every time I distract myself thinking about this lost cause, I’m letting the noise win. So I should stay in the moment. If you think you’ve been wronged in the workplace – didn’t get a promotion, don’t get treated with respect or are overworked and you want to just quit, wait… wait it out a day or two, a week or two a month or two.

This is not to say that I don’t do anything about the situation, I just tend to stay put at that moment when noise (in this case extreme emotion) is controlling me. I process everything outside of the noise once, twice as many times as I can. Once I do that, I have a pretty clear idea of what has to be done.

I may call that crush and express clearly where I come from and then hope he gives me a response. That is a very legitimate action (provided we’re sober J). You may actually quit your unsatisfying job and find something else that excites you professionally. Sure. But think through how you want to get there, what people you need to meet or skills you need to learn and then frankly the path to the new career becomes much easier than it would have otherwise been.

But in that heated moment when tempers flare, tears are rolling, screams are underway, just don’t do anything. Wait. Stay in the moment and then in the moments after that, do everything else you’re supposed to like pick up your kids, clear those office mails, don’t ignore routine things, especially when noise hits you. Stay till the noise subsides and then react.

That does it then, my three ways to stay clear of the noise. I must say it’s not like I’ve never let noise take over. This is very much a work in progress for me as well. But I have to say that when I’ve done the do-remember-stay routine, I’ve managed to drown out the noise. And that’s what I have to say about that! Borrowed I know but fitting end isn’t it? J

Surviving the Hype!

It has been forever hasn't it? This time I blame it entirely on laziness and too much television. This post is also going to be a reflection of all that excessive TV programming and as always, everything that's hit my face via Twitter and other social media. I'm going to say right away that this piece is tilted a little more towards lifestyle, sport and movies so be forewarned!!

For this post I am trying to explore this world of absolute hype that we as a society have become so good at creating and yet so uncomfortable at managing.. So my five pointer today is examples of hype that we've seen in the recent past and in some cases, what I make of it;

1) Shahrukh Khan, Chennai Express and the 100 Crore club:

SRK's placement of his Chennai Express promotions was spot on! Before we blinked an eyelid, the film had made 100 crores, by the time we sneezed, it has made a 100 more, and I guess the collections are still pouring in! I did enjoy the film honestly - those of you that saw my Facebook review know that already... and that whole Thalaiva salute at the end is sure to have at least gotten curious folks to the theatre if not converts. In this case the 'masala'ness of the film probably justifies the collections. There were almost 30-40 shows running in a single theatre per day. Salman and SRK have created this whole first weekend blitz format that I am very sure Hritik and Aamir are going to follow to the T -

My question (and fear) here is if this whole 100 crore obsession has created a monster.. where the large production houses rally for maximum exposure on the first 3 days and other smaller films with simple content will just have to wait and release another week or fade away in the shadow of the big banners. It seems like the more you hype it, the more people are gonna watch it. I have always been optimistic about our choices as viewers - that if the film is bad, its not going to make it.. but this formula has battered that confidence because my concern is that the collections in the first 3 days is actually agnostic to the quality of the movie. 'Ship of Theseus' and the upcoming 'Lunchbox' may be outliers because of studio support but let's not ignore films that may be weak starters but can pick up pace as the weeks go by because.. well they're actually good films :) I know I won't!! Attaching the trailer of Lunchbox here for you guys though. Enjoy and please encourage...



2) Hannah Montana ne kya kiya??

I am not trying in any way to dignify all the publicity this has already fetched. The events that transpired during the MTV VMAs are incredibly public and detailed by now all over the online world.. So anyone who hasn't seen the Miley Cyrus performance can Google it. I do want to appreciate Adam Lambert's reaction to the whole thing on Twitter though. That I am a Lambert fan is no secret. But I admire that succint manner in which he proposed to end all the hullabaloo and 'give the girl a break'. Let's move on indeed! However, the only reason I am bringing this up is again how much publicity has always surrounded Miley Cyrus for so many years now. The performance and the 'twerking' was shocking to say the least. To think that an artistic Vanity Fair cover of hers caused so much controversy back then (see below for the link), this one has left us all speechless! But I am not sure what pressures are created that lead them here. The online world is ruled by Youtube and 'views' are everything! The pressure its going to put on these young stars is crazy.. I only hope this is not another Amanda Bynes or Lindsay Lohan breakdown in the making. I'd be happier if we just let this go and instead started considering just how these teen/young idols are managed and advised. I'd be very interested to know!

Miley Cyrus Vanity Fair Controversy

3) Gareth Bale, na na na re!

If I hear the name again, I am pretty sure I'll scream.. At this point when the transfer to Real Madrid finally happened last week, I couldn't care less how much he was worth or how the world reacted. Again football seems to be losing its charm with only money talk dictating the news. My friends and I are to blame too. We meet on a Whatsapp group pretty often and for months we've only been catching up, arguing, commenting on transfer news. Its fun speculating I'll admit but every once in a while I do wish the leagues were more about the game. It really looks like they're not anymore :(
Imagine the magic Bale has to create now; I do hope we haven't set him up for disaster.

On the other hand maybe I didn't pay enough attention but the Mesut Ozil transfer seems to have happened pretty quietly. That's really the playmaker I'm gonna watch this season. I think he's the future! Someone told me we've reached the deadline for transfers. Thank God for that! NOW can we watch the game??

4) Raghuram Rajan:

To say that we are all looking to him like he's Moses is an understatement :) But there is something reassuring and infectiously optimistic about his personality. We also saw that 'Raghuram Rajan' effect on the rupee which analysts say will last this week too.. so far so good. And yet that one point we keep missing is that its really the Government that needs to make the decisions, not so much the Central Bank. Still, he has come across as reassuring and cautious at the same time from what I gather. I am certain most of you have probably read a lot more about how he has proposed to tackle India's economic problems but I thought this Economist piece is a nice summary of the week gone by in his life as RBI Governor.

India's New Central Bank Boss - The Savior Trap

I am confident he will live through the hype and shine! Hoping we can give him a little air soon though :) Country ka sawaal hai after all!

5) Benedict Cumberbatch - Too much Too soon??

Before anyone starts to doubt it, I still love him :) And I am so certain that he's going to make it exactly on his terms. That's just something you can say instantly about talented, hard working and more importantly unaffected actors which I have no doubt he still is.
The initial rise of Benedict Cumberbatch as the BBC's poster boy for modern productions and one of the most promising stage actors was sweet and gradual - what he could definitely predict I'm sure! What happened after 'Sherlock' went viral and 'Star Trek Into Darkness' is a mystery to everyone. A few months after, there he was last week at the Toronto International Film Festival with 3 of his films on showcase. After this he's going to start filming Imitation Game and at the end of this month, hope to win an Emmy for his Parade's End performance. Phew! Clearly this has been the most glorious year for the 37 year old.
As a fan, I read and see everything even remotely connected to him that's published. So I do know when Benedict addresses reporters at 'The Fifth Estate' press conference, gives his reaction to the Chelsea Manning verdict and even when 3000 or so fans are talking about how he wore his hair at the festival.... I read it all!

His fan base has grown exponentially and so has the papparazzi's interest in his affairs other than films. Even about 4 months ago I did not see as much reference to who he visited parties with and what he was doing in Ibiza with a Russian model - as I see now.
Plus the messages he put up for the paps were met with a fair share of criticism; I was also a bit surprised at the pictures and definitely wish that if he has something to say, he should write it as a piece in the paper or a magazine as I am certain someone of his intelligence can express freely and will definitely put points across very effectively. I was and am still not sure if a few hand written messages will really make their way to where they should. Having said that, I admire the fact that he wants to make a statement on some of these issues. But Benedict, please write a column! You'd be awesome at it :)

So much hype leading into the festival and now suddenly, The Fifth Estate doesn't open to rave reviews and talk about him landing an Oscar nod is getting milder and milder. The fact that its still not released in theatres, that its an obviously controversial film that is going to attract extreme opinion only - seems to have vacated minds. Still being in 3 strong films is certainly so praiseworthy that he is sure to maintain the visibility all the way until next year. This fall season is going to be great and I can't wait for the focus of the articles I read to shift to his films and performances rather than on his 'alleged' escapades.

I did read a lot more this past month and have been affected by everything that went on; the Syria crisis, Egypt crisis, the 'almost omnipresent by now' Rupee crisis, the most recent UP crisis (as of today), the Chelsea Manning sentencing, even the Amartya Sen - Jagdish Bhagwati debate (remember that?) - read it all and definitely tried to understand it all. But serious issues like this always make me doubly sensitive, almost paranoid about saying or reflecting the wrong thing.

So while I do have opinions and some knowledge of all that went down, I would rather take some time and get used to this writing thing for fear of saying something frivolous. Having said that, my point of really listing it all here is for you guys to read up in case you already haven't and let me know what your sense is. Maybe we'll put something together basis what we all think, a little crowdsourcing anyone??

Much Ado about.... A lot actually!

My disclaimer continues on to this post as well. Still a little rusty and I am already starting to find this weekly posting thing pretty damn hard. I guess I took on too much with this '5 point' business :)

Anyhow, no time to fret, so here's my 5 for the week. All those expecting 'Royal Baby' comments and my experience in Mumbai's torrential rain... wait for next week's post (Oops! gave it away didn't I?)but read this one while you're here. I find it a little strange actually that most of what I'm talking about here was actually just last week's news and yet seems long long ago now... such is life in a weird wired world I guess. Still let's not be instant noodles I figure so let's risk talking about yesterday once more.. (or that I've been so lazy all week to write this that I am just late.. period :))

All personal opinion and apologies if I am commenting on things I don't know enough about.

1) I closed last week with 'Ship of Theseus' - went with a friend who was probably the only other person in my circle who had a) heard of it and b) wanted to watch it. Truth be told I didn't even bother asking any of the others because I had a really bad experience many years ago when I forced the world to go see 'Traffic' - that Steven Soderbergh masterpiece. Some of my friends left half way, others stayed back just to curse me. 'Traffic' for me is still one hell of a screenplay and very well packaged. But that was my lesson.. not every masterpiece is entertaining for one and all. 'Ship of Theseus' is exactly that. This is a breakthrough in Indian cinema no doubt - gutsy, well conceived and very well acted with nice dialogue. But if the film was always meant to be a public release, it could have at least been 'less' boring. The characters were so well painted but Anand Gandhi spent so much time on landscapes, city lights, people walking, thinking etc. that my head really kept spinning every five minutes. Such wonderful characters and a brilliant plot like this could have been magical while maintaining the same spirit and sensitivity to inanimates.

Having said that if you have the patience of a rock and a love of cinematography or philosophy, you'll like this. The movie dives into intelligent debate in all 3 storylines. The Theseus Paradox is woven very well indeed and handled with maturity. My favorite story was really the last one with Sohum Shah but favorite character was Maitreyee, the swami in the second story facing a dilemma - again how I wish the screenplay was rich enough to make us live with the characters. Neeraj Kabi is an awesome actor - never seen him before but I hope we see more of him now, he's like a machine on screen - 100% perfect!
Go watch it if you're in the mood to encourage something unique and truly independent but don't say I didn't warn you that you might nod off for a bit. (as did my friend and yet strangely he went and saw it another time! lol!)

2) When I first read last week about 22 children dying because of poison found in the mid-day meals, my reaction was of absolute horror! Then acute sorrow and then rage. This is a pattern of emotions I (and indeed many of you) have been feeling often in recent times - but where do we go from here and what do we do about this? The mid-day meal is a well thought through subsidy that has benefitted so many children since the 1920s that it was almost taken for granted that despite all else going wrong, the good this scheme does will still prevail. Confidence was shattered yet again for me that day and more so today - a week later because all we are talking about today is the Royal Baby, the Joe Biden visit and worst of all SRK and Salman hugging each other. I sure hope the all powerful media keeps the radar on this and diverts the story away from statements around conspiracy theory and endless reports of contamination in other parts of the country - that are flooding the news today. I would be deeply interested in a debate around subsidies - it's as a good a time as any to examine how we should be distributing subsidies and what controls we can develop. I do not know enough to comment right now but I hope to read and discuss this a lot more in the months to come. I will not even try commenting on the Sen-Bhagwati debate so let's not go there!

3) It was a year before last week that India lost its first and only superstar Rajesh Khanna. One major reason why I thought about mentioning this is really my mom :)What I find strange and actually kind of adorable is that she was more the Dev Anand fan growing up and had only taken a liking to Rajesh Khanna off late. I guess this coincided with her discovery of Youtube, Google and all the wonderful things the internet and social media have to offer. So the enthusiasm doubled and quadrupled day by day. Then she started following his health and a few weeks later suddenly, her searches for 'Rajesh Khanna health' returned with RIP messages and reports of his death. I distinctly remember her weeping on the phone when I called her from work that day.
What am I trying to say? We grossly underestimate how much celebrity contributes to who we are. We may not be consumed into knowing every single detail of their lives, but the fact that for a little while, what they do - be it movies, sports, music and the likes - takes us away, makes us forget yet remember, cry, laugh, scream and express every emotion there is, is more than enough evidence that we will need these icons in our lives forever. Let's not forget that most often they are easy targets to blame for an entire movie, or a cricket match or a wardrobe malfunction gone wrong.
Having said that, this is something they've signed up for so I will by all means bring the house down when we think they've screwed up or worse, taken my affections for granted. Yet, I humbly acknowledge that my relationship with celebrity is something that has added to my life more than I even know.
As for Rajesh Khanna, well all I can make out of all this is that he is probably India's first filmstar - watching the BBC documentary on him gives you only a sense of just what the euphoria would have been like because I have seen none like it. See the documentary here!
The bottom line for me (and I said this on my facebook page); if I had seen him in this song for the first time ever on a 70 mm screen, I'd have definitely been one of those crazy fans!

4) Rolling Stone magazine's cover feature on Dzokhar Tsarnaev - I feel a little nervy about commenting on this since it has invoked so many extreme reactions these past few days already - yeah this is my blog and I can say what I want but I am still conscious that what I write here can potentially be read by millions (I am not that good yet I know :) Still you never know and again, I do not know enough to comment but I still want to say something..

'Let's be aware' is what I take away from all this -

For those of us who looked beneath the cover and actually read the article - I liked this Janet Reitman piece. The fact that Dzokhar (referred to as 'Jahar' in this one interestingly) was driven to becoming a monster by a series of many unfortunate circumstances stares at you in the face when you read this. Read the article here. I am not inserting a picture of the controversial cover for the simple reason that for me the discussion should really be about the piece and not one picture. If you're curious, Google it!

This is a good piece of investigative journalism (Rolling Stone is good at this, was a discovery for me only now. I always thought it was a cornerstone for music essentially but am pleasantly surprised); and I want to give the team benefit of doubt and believe that this was thought through and responsible as far as they are concerned. But I can't blame people for perceiving this to be irresponsible. It is a cover that will attract eyeballs in newsstands and websites instantly and Rolling Stone need to have known that.

Also if we are arguing the Charles Manson cover from long ago as a justification, with respect - that cover was not released in this day and age of connectivity when the spread of current news and more so controversy - is so rapid. Let's be aware that the effect of anything we write today is multiple number of times greater than the non - internet days. I know that also gives critics an opportunity to air as much of their views as they want, but more responsibility lies with the origin in my opinion. Also these are times when much has gone wrong with the world and we are in a situation where we seem to be losing sight of what's important as society.

I am unable to wrap my head around where I stand on this because I am personally a believer of free and open journalism always, yet I know that it is more important now than ever for those with power to be responsible. So I'm leaving it meandering for now.. more thinking to do on this for me.

5) July was also the month when all this happened;

Benedict Cumberbatch;
a) Celebrated his 37th birthday
b) Did so last weekend while simultaneously marrying (officiating :)) the wedding of two of his friends in Ibiza
c) Was nominated for a Primetime Emmy for his performance in Parade's End
d) The first trailer of 'The Fifth Estate' came out. If you have not seen it, you clearly don't know what Brilliant Benedict can do.. so see it here.

e) Learned that 3 of his films - 'The Fifth Estate', 'August: Osage County' and '12 Years a Slave' are going to be a part of the Toronto International Film Festival in September. They might as well call it The Cumberbatch Carnival. Lol! (Click on the film title for trailers)

The point I am making - I told you so! Definitely one of the finest actors in today's set. I am a fan and proud to be so.

I will say however that there is such a thing as overexposure and I fear that might just be happening here. San Diego Comic Con 2013 and the funny video he made for the Sherlock panel went instantly viral I hear. My focus now is more on all the awesome films that are all coming out in Sept-Oct and Sherlock's 3rd batch. And I am sincerely hoping for those to be legendary to say the least - that's when we'll really know what he's made of. Fingers crossed :)

A note to make on Parade's End though - this series, Behind the Candelabra and many other fine works that are nominated this year - really give us a sense of how far Indian television needs to go. These are made for TV movies and miniseries guys! Has anyone here even tried that? Also 'House of Cards' - which is the 'in' series at the moment is actually available only on Netflix to stream and watch.

I was just thinking about the fact that we need to start at 'Balika Vadhu' and then get all the way up to 'House of Cards' or 'Breaking Bad' as well as introduce internet and feature formats while we're at it. Lol! That's gonna take a while I think..
At this point I can't think of a single show or production house that's even pointing in that direction :( If you can, drop me a comment please?) The eternal optimist in me wants to think there's quality in Indian Television.

Of changing times and endless youth...

I am on shaky ground as I write this because none of my posts online in the past two years have ever been more than a hundred words, thanks to Facebook and Twitter. At the suggestion (coercion) of friends, I dare to do this. But really more so since so much happened this past week that I actually felt like writing about. And for a change this post isn't going to be about any movie I saw :) I didn't go to the pictures at all and yet I have something to say... how about 5 things that happened last week that have changed a little of how I think.. most of this I attribute to my new smartphone and twitter actually coz otherwise, there's no way I would've read so much. So thank you to my new connected world!

1. The telegram is gone forever. My heart did sink a little the first time I heard a few weeks ago. All that romantic poetry, reference to 'maa, bhaiya ka taar aaya hai' in the movies, all gone with one last note :( Was it the same feeling when we moved from pigeons to post I wonder! On a funny note, most of these 'condolence messages' including my own are really on social media which has taken us far far ahead of telegrams anyway. So why mourn something that we never used to begin with? Well, I still do. So sue me..

2. While this change was less significant, something monumental happened in Ireland which will certainly transform the country's future. I don't think the rest of the world will realize just how significant the passing of the legislation on abortion really is! I certainly am not an expert on this. All I know is that the death of a young pregnant woman not so long ago led to this discussion in parliament and I have respect for the way the process played out to its closure.

3. Malala Yousafzai's speech at the UN I will never forget for the rest of my life. Truth be told I did not know of her until last week. But the more I read and saw and heard, I marveled her as did the world. The universe stood and applauded as this young girl, all of 16 - battered by a terrible incident - spoke of power, respect, fearlessness and above all, peace and education for all. I am a sucker for hope and she gave me oodles of it last week!

4. Nuff said about Ashton Agar? This 19 year old played his first test ever, came out to bat at number 11 and left after making 98 friggin' runs. Hell no! We're not done talking about Agar yet :) I am also not done referencing Benedict Cumberbatch wherever I go so deal with this one too... He plays William Pitt the Younger in the 2006 film 'Amazing Grace' (decent film but what I'd pay to see is the rendition of the song on bagpipes and flutes at the end. Google this NOW to see what I mean!). So Benedict has this line in the movie - “We're too young to realize certain things are impossible, which is why we will do
them anyway.”- Nothing can describe what Agar did better than this! My moment of the game had to be the way he just shrugged and walked away after sending the ball straight to Swann. How incredibly symbolic of youth. 
Not to mention that this cracker of a match has now restored the faith of many a cricket lover in test cricket. The gentlemen's game is back! 

5. My number 5. would have been Bhaag Milkha Bhaag and the usual review on the fervor and focus it garnered (which frankly is still beyond me so I'll have to watch it before proving my point). 

But the 5th reference is something that sadly overshadowed the original plan and indeed most of what I have written so far. We said goodbye to Glee's Cory Monteith last week and none of us were prepared for it. He left the world in shock and sadness with yet another statement on how sweet and harsh youth can be at the same time, especially in the wake of overnight success. You may think I was a huge fan of him or at least the show. I was really neither. I enjoyed the show and thought it was entertaining - thought Cory was particularly sincere in his role as Finn Hudson. But tears still rolled down as I read that we had lost another young star on the anvil. 'Don't stop believin' is immortal coz of the show and in part, coz of him. 

My video add on to this post would have been Ashton Agar's shrug if we hadn't encountered Cory Monteith's untimely death. 
My tribute to him here is the scene from Glee that for me, truly introduced him to us all - as Finn Hudson - the character he will always always be. O Youth! for years so many and sweet! 

RIP Cory and thank you for the music! 


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjcKhKi_qmI

Rockstar goes down down!!!

Rockstar! As painful as Immortals; except I was actually thought this was gonna be good
4/10 and here's why:
(again all of this is opinion of lil' ol' me so don't read it if you don't want to..)

1) Nargis Fakhri - She just didn't cut it, the role was too passionate and demanding for her abilities which are extreeeeemmmmmeeeeely minimal! (right now anyway). My friend Gaurav Batla tweeted saying she makes Katrina Kaif look like Meena Kumari... and he is so right!! I am not sure who could have played the destructive forbidden fruit(can think of Kangana Ranaut and in fact Aditi Rao Hydari who was actually in this movie too :)) but definitely should not have been her.

2) Really really bad second half - The editing team clearly fell asleep and pasted all of Ranbir's screaming scenes together to complete the second half. But then again with a non-actress being a part of most o' the scenes I don't blame them coz they clearly had to fill in something for all the scenes of hers they might have had to cut.It was like I was watching 2 different directors doing the two halves. Imtiaz Ali had it together in the first half but went down like the Titanic in the second.
3) For wasting a few things that were good:

a) The first half of the movie - had good narration - was simple and streamlined just like Imtiaz Ali usually does it. I found many simple scenes which really connected well and I did associate with the character's ascent to stardom
b) Ranbir Kapoor - Packed show in a place like Chembur during matinee time, clearly we all love him. As an actor, he was exceptional, he's really coming of age. But I didn't see enough negative motivation anywhere in the movie for him to be so pissed off all the time. However, his understanding of a crazy rockstar and body language were extremely good
c) AR Rahman and Mohit Chauhan - Lajawaab Gaane! The songs were very apt, 'rockstar'ish. I did feel during the promos that Vishal - Shekhar would've probably done a better job but I think I changed my mind today. Maestro Rahman and his muse Mohit Chauhan did well
d) A sweetheart called Shammi Kapoor - Oh my he still has such a personality even on a wheelchair - I was aching for a couple of scenes between him and Ranbir - A jugalbandi, the Ustad teaching the Shagird a couple of things etc... missed the element very much indeed.

4) For not making the movie as much about Music as it was (trying to be...) about love - I may be the eternal optimist but that beautiful, creative element that would have made Ranbir's character shine was sadly missing entirely. I had expected the core of the film to be love, sure... but a few scenes where he is finding himself and his vibe as a musician would have been welcome. Associating a mentor or Guru to his character would have created room for dialogue to actually express what he was feeling. I did not get his angst at all throughout the movie.

5) Because any movie on a 'Rockstar' should always be autobiographical - And this is opinion guys but think about it. Whether its Cobain or Morrison or our very own Kishore Kumar and the likes - all of whom lived very strange lives; none of us can understand what goes through the minds of these geniuses. To try and recreate a fictional genius is one mighty difficult task. That's probably why Imtiaz Ali failed in the screenplay. While it was definitely very interesting subject matter to base the film on, if only he had researched and paid homage to one of the Gods of music gone by (and there are soooo many), it would have connected much better with the audience. The movie would have been safely home because although we may not understand the scenes, we'd know that all that stuff in people's lives actually went down.

All said and done, I still love Ranbir Kapoor and consider him to be the one to beat today in terms of talent and star presence.. but my fear is that he may have taken a big chance with this movie. I am sure the movie's gonna break even coz Ranbir is still gonna pull full capacity crowds for the first 3 days. But the disappointment they carry out is going to dent him unfortunately... after all Ranvir Singh is lurking in the shadows only a few feet away, and the SRK's and Hrithik Roshan's of the world ain't sayin' good bye yet!

I'd still be rooting for Ranbir but he's gonna have to work fast and smart to undo this damage... something tells me though... that he will :)
Cheers!... Laterz

I love my meandering life!

Strangely I only get an urge to blog when I'm sitting at a desktop computer.. Wonder what that is??
Anyway so this is one day I've gotten far from the madding crowd, not home in bangalore, not with my folks, not with anyone, just I, me , myself.... loving it :) Its technically an off day so phone calls and emails aren't flooding me today. I'd say this is the perfect reflective time off...

Its been a while since I've really sat down with a cup of coffee and done nothing or thought about nothing, not writing a 'to do' list as I'm sippin' away, not texting other people to add to their to do's or stalking other people coz I've gotta follow up with them (well... I may have made a call or two!!) .
So tis times like these (and the office is gonna go crazy when they see that I've used 'tis' in a sentence) that I wish I had well, more times like these...

Not that I don't absolutely love my job; visiting 3 cities every two weeks, living out of a suitcase, blessed that I live with family and friends at all 3 places instead of hotels... meet the most gifted and interesting people, do a job that finds respect in every environment, why wouldn't I love where I am?? I absolutely do. Its exactly what I've dreamed of, meandering, ambiguous, exciting every moment and I actually have a chance at changing the way people see themselves at their workplace (watch this space for more on this...)

Still didn't realize how much I crave 'me' time until today....

I mean I am on my own when I get home... and sometimes the loneliness does get to you... but I'm on my way to making that 'alone' time into 'aparna' time... and thank god for that! What does all this gibberish mean?? nothing really. Just that it would be amazing when I've successfully ensured 30 minutes just for myself everyday... to write... take a walk... not get too distracted... would be great no?
My friends do this soooo well... so many of them so good at escaping into their space. But its so tough for me...
Today was the first time... and this is good.

Still I know that the only reason this 'me' time is so priceless coz there's so much 'everyone' time in my life. Since my life is so much of a rollercoaster, taking a step back matters!! I wonder if I'd need this if things were more balanced. Alone time would probably drive me nuts!!
So net net, one doesn't exist without the other. And I'm glad this is the way for me... Love the fact that I work at a frenetic pace which makes me appreciate the lack of it so much more :)

.... later....

Creating for a GLOBAL audience! Hooray to that!

- And 5 other things that made the 67th Annual Golden Globe Awards memorable this year!

So no Slumdog this year! Or anything that we'd particularly identify with as Indian movie goers. But lots of awesome films, one amazing female movie director (Kathryn Bigelow, I salute you!) and I got the distinct impression it was Raining Men at the Globes :)

I thought I'd list my 5 reasons to watch the repeat tonight on World Movies at 8:30 pm IST:
1. Bob, Leo and Martin! - Where there's Scorcese and his two proteges, there's bound to be history right? The disbelief we felt when we saw him win his first Oscar as recently as 2007 for 'The Departed' (i mean what took them so long right?) was today a feeling of awe and definitely personal joy for all Scorcese fans. The best part about him for me is that he still remains unassuming as hell when he's accepting these honors and exudes the kind of humility we should all learn from! Thats the best kind of Hero isn't it? The one that doesn't know how great he is!

2. Christoph Waltz - The chills this man sent down my spine in 'Inglourious Basterds', I will recollect for some time now. I'll admit throughout the movie, I always waited for him to be back on the screen! The clear favorite in the Best Supporting Actor category, his sophisticated yet simple demeanour on stage was unmissable! A sweet, wonderful speech as coherent as Col. Landa himself, Waltz was a breath of fresh air somehow and played himself very nobly!

3. The lovely Meryl Streep - She will never cease to amaze anyone I'm sure. Haven't we seen her like in every award function every year for a zillion years now?? :) And yet I want her to keep them coming. I'm not gonna harp on all the stats that prove beyond reasonable doubt that she's the greatest living actress today! But for me she's just someone who walks into her place of office everyday knowing in her head that she's gonna give it her all and make value out of it for all of us! And we go to watch her films knowing this about her! That's what performance is about and boy does she have it!

4. Robert Downey Jr. - How could I ever resist not mentioning him? I may sound sheepish but I've actually cried for the man on occassion (gosh that news about him fallin asleep on a stranger's bed - as low as low points can get!) and many times with him at the movies (people who haven't seen Soloist, really should!). But this is one lucky and loved SOB to keep popping back with priceless stuff time n again! And Thank God for that! Chaplin, Ally McBeal, Iron Man and now Mr. Holmes (Yup, he won Lead Actor - Comedy/Musical btw!), I actually don't wish he comes back like this. Mr. Robert Downey Jr. I wish you don't go anywhere from here on! I will never tire of watching you be the raw, effervescent actor you are!
At today's show though, catch the sense of humor he still carries about himself :) Amazing acceptance speech!
Yeah Yeah I'm a fan :) So sue me!

5. Pandora taking over THE GLOBE! - Nuff said about everything else that happened at the awards function! I really don't have to say much here except pay tribute to the man they call James Cameron for the 1 millionth time. Winners came and went to and from the stage tonight! But the biggest honors of the night had only one name on it! Arnold Shwarznegger said it all - "If you're watching this and haven't seen 'Avatar' yet, you're probably the only one:)!" It takes something special to make something the whole world has loved and not been able to draw itself out of yet! Hell I'm still living in the enigma of Pandora!
Yes James Cameron made the connection with the earth and all of us... and deservedly walked away with the direction and motion picture trophies. Wasn't a surprise but was never any less joyous watching that happen!

Things I wish hadn't happened tonight:
1. Quentin Tarantino not winning anything for Inglourious Basterds - Too good a film to be goin' home empty handed!
2. Chloe Sevigny being so rude - Well, the dress was so funny and non - negotiable with petal like things flyin' around, of course someone stepped on it!
3. Tom Hanks' Meryl Streep - Alec Baldwin - Stanley Tucci comment - I have no idea what that meant! In his defence, maybe I didn't get it thats all:) Still was wierd for me so goes down here.

Ever get that 'born again' feelin'?

Wow! Two posts in one year?? I'm on a roll.....
But seriously, looks like my identity crisis is gonna last a while! Considering I can't even figure out what I should write about... 'Avatar' did blow me away but this blog's loss was the gain of Facebook 'notes'. So net net... I'm still looking in my little head for content that anyone would actually wanna come back every week or so for! And not random words poured out like this.
But while we do that, lets all get used to this gibberish I guess.
Today is Christmas and soon its gonna be 2010. Ten years into this millenium and while the world still hasn't found a way of gettin' along, men still can't ask attractive, intelligent women out for coffee coz they fear being rejected and I still can't seem to figure out where I'm going with life. I've had 3 confused years trying my best to explicitly and implicitly make plans, set goals, create a positive attitude. Made tall statements to all my friends I was getting aggressive and ambitious, then once I failed to see it through darted back to keepin' these plans to myself and still nothing happened!
So it looks like its all downhill right? In this time and continuous struggle to find myself and constantly beating myself down coz I haven't achieved what I was 'ordained' to do (love using that word especially when I'm trying hopelessly to prove a point :)), practically nothing has gone as planned. Haven't taken risks at all, haven't really done volunteer work that impacted lives forever and haven't even been able to explain clearly to the family around me where I'm coming from on several occassions.
And yet there's always Christmas Eve that sets this 'Born Again' feeling off! This one week for me is always about churning out the crap. A new day dawns, I pray hard for a good year ahead, take a deep breath and move on! But you know whats most beautiful about today, in particular? This is when it has hit me that while I was going through my meandering, twisted life with my meandering, twisted head for company, while a lot of stuff has not come through for me, I can't even begin to count to number of things that have. This morning I started thinking and remembered everything... every glass of juice and chocolate mom gave me in the morning before I darted out to office without eating a decent breakfast, every angel on the street who with a smile, gave me clear directions when I was lost, every friend who remembered me when they celebrated weddings and birthdays, every colleague who waited for me after work until I packed my stuff to grab a 5 minute chat, all the insane online chats and facebook exchanges with contacts all over the planet and simply, the fact that I could get up and go to work with my happy face because in these 3 years, I've had at least one pleasant memory with every single person I know. I may not know where I'm gonna be next year in terms of who I'll work with, whether or not I'll meet targets, make money, make it to South Africa for FIFA '10? But I do know that somewhere I have found ways to get by these three years and how? With joy, fun and laughter!
How can I therefore, not get by the rest of my life? Nothing is really wrong! Like Jack Dawson from the 'Titanic', 'I have a few sheets of paper and air in my lungs'. My 'sheets of paper' are my friends and family, both the present and the ones I'll make in the future. and the 'air' is my faith in them.
I am still standing.. I'm still going to try and find that perfect job, still going to move on when people write me off..
You know why? Coz every year I'm gonna be here again, at Christmas and New Year writing off the Dead and remembering the Living!
In case I don't write about '3 idiots' tomorrow, have a Great Great 2010 and remember to remember the living!!